FAMILIAR WARMTH

I stared at the ceiling today and it stared back,
relentless look always looking down at me, it shows
me it's heart of stone.

I turn to my side, It's sight gone off to somewhere
else, I look at the pictures, windows and walls
all around, they push me down.

But then my hand brushes close to a familiar warmth,
my body moves toward it, I open my eyes to find you
laying by my side.
And the walls shatter, the windows open wide and
the ceiling loses it's eyes, I fall asleep and into the
dream world again.

All my thoughts have left while I stand alone,
while I fly back, never looking down, always ahead,
where you always are.

So I turn my head to one side, just to look for your hand,
and I smile while my eyes cry out "Can't you hear
my hearts loud beating?"

But then my hface is brushed by a familiar warmth,
my body reacts and my face moves towards it, to find
kissing my bloodstained cheer.
And the clouds all huddle together and cover up
the sun, they give us a little shade and rain to soften
the ground we'll fall upon.
So whatever reason we may have is reason enough
to hold our stance, against everything between us,
against everything but our world.

I've always wondered , how things move
and people change, from time to time,
but time stands still.

Depressed as I am I cant help but smile,
because I know hat for every darkened sky
the sun will eventually shine.

I'd like to shine sometime, just like you have
all the time.

If time was my friend, I'd have it in my hand,
she'd give me all of her that I need and I'd give
myself to her like I've already did.

Stepping on snow, leaving footprints
behind, one pair of footprints, to show I've
always walked alone.

Good times or bad times always one pair
of footprints alone.

Melting snow, now the footprints
are gone, little left of what I've left behind
nothing of what I've learned.

Better times and worse times, always walking
by my self.

TIRED OF SAYING

In time I’ll see, I know times are hard and
few things are what they seem.

Whoever thought that time sits still was blinded
by the thought and run over by the truck.

I’m tired of saying that everything is too complicated to understand,
that dreams always seem to slip from my hands.
I will stop time!!! I will capture light!!!
And that truck will miss me because I’ll be flying a mile high.

So in time I’ll see, that life plays it’s own games
and plays them with me.

Whoever thought love is a straight line was pushed around for fun
and got run over by life.

I Will stop time!!! I will capture love!!!
And life will walk down with me and show me all that’s going by.

Having another time of my life,
there’s still time, to think, before
the lights die down.

Rolling the town on our hands,
chances of a lifetime brought together
by these hands.

So I’ll stand and toast for this trip
Then just turn my head an walk away…

… and dream again.

A sudden inquiry, what could she be offering with this sudden possibility?

A midnight thought, only interrupted by dreams, uncertainty and doubt.

We crossed swords before, she and I both knew what we were intended for,
maybe just that night instead of a later reproduction of our own fall.

¿Could she propose? ¿Can she say the words I’ve been doubting and writing in my verse?

Unaware of my position in this event, still not sure if I am to stay or go away,
maybe just to give our selves to this, a sort of farewell kiss.

Go ahead and change my world, tomorrow I’ll be gone,
tomorrow I’ll be somewhere else.

Another change of pace, could it be that what I need
is some peace and quiet and stay the same?

A bad use of my liberty, I ‘d rather join a celebration and
leave my maturing for another day.

Another change of pace, could it be that what I need
is some peace and quiet and stay the same?

Tell me that It’s all al right, tell me I’m fine,
tell the world that we can still fly.

Words make up only for words
that were said before, actions speak louder
than you and the say nothing worth remembering.

Even though once you said time
and distance were not enough, what you did say spoke
louder than you ever thought.

No more intentions, just this bloody relationship
you insist upon, calm your words and cower in your
corner, you were doing fine until now.

But something woke you up, a threat of losing
what you thought you held so tightly but you never
held at all, you lost power over my soul.

So whatever things are needed
to be said, forget them for today and leave me
in peace for a change, I don’t care for what you have to say.

Although things could’ve worked out
and I made you believe, just take it as a sort of
revenge , something I’d never do, well It’s about time
I changed.

No more intentions, just this bloody relationship
you insist upon, dragging the past back to my door,
well there I’ll introduce you to my new owner.

Still something woke you up, the thought of losing
what you thought was forever yours while it was
never yours at all, you lost power over my soul.

So now whatever you do, don’t come
around here while I’m still around, I’m not interested
in starting a war in foreign ground.

Stay put, stay still for a change,
realize that a heart once broken can never be mended
again…

… stay and appreciate your own place.

Things don't change as easily as one wishes, or needs, she is going crazy and she's driving me out of my mind, she needs to get a life, she needs to realize that she has got it better than I do, I'm not from this town, my only way to relax is to write, she has friends here, mine have already left this god for saken city.

I need to let loose for a while, do nothing because I can, breath just for the sake of breathing, no responsabilities other to myself and to what I do, basically I need to be alone.

Aparently I come back to this blog whenever something important happens in my life, "important" meaning the fact that I just had to break up with my girl... yeas "HAD" to break up.

It's strange how one can give so much to another yet the one receiving feels he's not giving shit, contrary of course to want the other thinks, one feels right down bad, if there are words to describe how I feel, "bad" would be the last one, shit is to clean right now for me, sometimes It's easy to hate yourself, doesn't anyone agree?

Anyway, It's over, this time for good, the first time I thought I could walk over those demons that haunted, and I did, for a while, she actually took it upon herself to make me fall in love with her again every single day, something she acomplished yet made me feel even worse, she gave so much, yet I felt I gave her so little, she says otherwise.

I truly hope she's ok.