I had a nightmare last night, a dream and, for me it is very unusual to actually remember my dreams. I don't regurlaly get a decent enough night's sleep o be able to remember details. Yesterday I did.

I wont name names, I wont give details, just what I remember after a couple hours of being awake and losing the haze.

I remember people and things dying all around me, people that have been in my life for the longest time and others that have only arrived recently, they all died. The one I remember the most, she was bleeding from her forehead and it was dripping down her face, she was crying and she said to me before she passed: "How could you do this to us?"

The crimson stains were on my hands and the floor, people were dropping dead all around me and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Even Malachi, my cat, he was all shriveled, hairless and the size of a mouse. I tried to feed him and give him water but nothing worked.

I love to dream but I hate dreams like these, it wasn't that people were dying it was that I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening.

As I woke up I couldn't take the image of her bloodstained face saying those words to me, as if all the pain, all that suffering her and the people around were going through was my fault when I had absolutely no idea what I had done.

So it's early and I'm awake, the first day I was allowed to remain in bed I found my nightmare. I hate my sleepless nights.