So I write in this journal, just because I don't have the balls to even write her, damn, It's too strange, how can I feel such a connection with someone I barely met? She has lieved so much, seen even more, experienced the world, she's done things out of this world, and this way I'm left way behind, having so little to actually compare with what she's acomplished, does she really seek a sort of "tranquility" that I can give... I don't know, I'll probably will in a couple of days.

I'm scared, I actually am, anticipation for going home never grew this big in so long, I know she's something else, the problem is that I'm just something too common... I have still to know waht she sees in me.

The truth is that I havent been as direct to anyone as I have been with her, still, I don't exactly know what I've actually said, I wrote constantly, almost pathologically, what I write basically rapeats itself over and over again, but only I know that, other people only see a different rhyme. Though she says she like ambiguity... she's probably not getting the message, I don't know.

I'm just losing it again, and again, and again.

For someone who's that far away.