Things are strange, nothing to feel bad about, yet, just the same to feel good about, feeling so out of place here I can't even put my feelings into order, really wanting to do one thing and that is leave this city behind. Funny, people have complained to me, they say I've got what most want, hmm, those people just don't understand, why do people think that the one that goes away is the one that's haveing the time if his life?

The truth is, the one that leaves starts from zero, although that's something I WISH to do now, I really didn't back then, so I started a new life and ended up rejecting most of it, this place is not for, I am not built for a place like this, the people, the places, too crowded, too much of too much, I don't like it, you can t take a break without being shot thru a cannon of whatever crap is out on the street and you ended up more stressed out than when you left home.

I'm going home in a couple of weeks, to see friends, family and hopefully her, It's easy for me to say that I'm exceited about seeing her, the few people that know me here notice that, it's actually easy to see, I walk around so lightheartedly, not a care in the world, just the wait until then troubles me... It's just another two weeks, I've been waiting like this for four years, I'm used to it, nothing new for me.

Yet I'm not enjoying myself right now, if I could maybe open up a little bit more, try her once more, tell her this I feel maybe I wouldn't feel as preassured, I just really need to get outta here, I just really need to see someone like her right now.