Sex & Affection

They are two very different things in a relationship. Lack of sex means lack of communication. There can still be incredible sex between people who hardly know each other but that's another thing entirely, that's called chemistry and, well, we humans are animals after all. Sexual attraction between certain people cannot be helped.

Affection and sex are, srot of, the "ying & yang" in a relationship, if there's too much of one and hardly any of the other that relationship is bound to collapse, it doesn't matter which side is the one lacking.

Relationships that have their roots far too dug into just one side of this ying & yang will find problems related to the opposite side. There can be"too much" affection and the relationship will just turn a little bit too sweet; and we all know what happens when a relationship is solely based on sex.

Fairy tales tell stories of perfect "over-sugared" love in which all is based on affection. I have nothing against this but people, c'mon! We all know that sex is an important part of a relationship, it's the most intimate part of a relationship, it is where each partner is more vulnerable in front of the other and it's where each one shows the most confidence in the other.

Love is not only a story book, it's real life and sex is part of real life. A relationship needs these two halves to function appropriately.

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest.

Cheers

"Loves opens doors." They say.

It has for me and my most recent love has opened a door I thought I could not open. Two months now we have shared not only an opinion but other, more personal, spaces. she has my name engraved in her heart and I have her's in mine.

I never traveled in search for companion, I always thought I'd have one for the trip. But alas! As the say I found a tall brunette to accompany me in my search for whatever it is I'm searching. In between antique furniture and turning clocks, raging cuckoos and ancient grandfathers we exchange words of past, present and future. It's bizarre how clocks can make a person talk about distinct periods of his life.

The last name of a weapon, her name screams antiquity, and I scream for the understanding she gives me. I found a companion whom I'd turn the world around for.

I found her.

Me entero y me alegro.

Está frecuentando lugares distintos, tal vez no los favoritos pero aún así lugares que le puedan despejar la mente. Lugares nuevos que la lleven a tener nuevas experiencias.

Tengo celos, lo admito, celos de los buenos. Siempre me preocuparé por ella, por su vida y por estado mental. Es fuerte y creo que mas de lo que ella creé.

Estos últimos tres años fueron buenos para mí, así los recuerdo. Lamentablemente, para ella, solo seré aquel tipo que le rompió el corazón.

De alguna manera me enteraré de tí, lo sepas tú o no, seguiré tu vida, celebraré tus logros, lamentaré tus fracasos, tendré tu persona y mi vida contigo en un pedestal.

Cuídate y se felíz. No queda de otra. No soy lo mejor para tu vida y nunca lo fuí, pero por el tiempo que duró se sintió perfecto.

Hasta que lo arruiné

Pero ya no voy a mirar hacia atras, la decisión la tomé tal vez por todas las razones incorrectas pero fué una decisión de cualquier manera. Todo acabó y creo qeu así es mejor para los dos. Estoy seguro que nuestro futuro es algo distinto a estar juntos.

Saludos

···He had old me about him going back home, how he saw all the people we used to hang out with. All of them had changed but the city remained the same.

···"It's amazing how that place remains the same." He said. "As much as people try to change that city still manages to swallow you up, even if you're only there for a few days." He looked down and took a drag form his cigarette. IT was his fifth since we started talking and the ashtray was beginning to fill up with ashes.

···"It's part of the reason I left in the first place. There's no way to change that city. Hell will always be hell, you cannot change that." He looked at me and my expression told him that I knew exactly what I was talking about. I had left the city long before he had and, although he does not know, it was for those same reasons.

···"You can never expect too much from a city, it has the buildings and people one will use to move forward. The city itself will never push you forward." That city seems to be stuck, visiting it ten years ago is the same as visiting it today.

···We talked about the trip, the one he'd made that probably wasted his time. Of how the people in that town that welcomed him so at first turned around and stabbed him in the back. He told that meeting me there was a relief at first but it was already too late, things had already taken their toll and the gears were already moving in an unstoppable direction. "Having you there was the best thing that happened to me even if we saw each other only as passer by. Seeing a familiar face somehow refreshed my days and, in a way, helped me remember that there are still people out there that are not hiding knives behind them."

···"People here are strange." I said. "It's as though they welcome you only for the perverted pleasure of watching you die afterwards. They believe that we're here to take their place when, in fact, we just want to find our own. Little do they realize that we want little to do with them." He looked at me and chuckled, some smoke came from his mouth as his lips open up for a laugh.

···"You have no idea how right you are, my friend."

···We were quiet after that. Our favorite bar was still pretty empty despite the late hour. Outside the weather was unusually warm.

···I guess the city had changed after all...

Hey, guess what.

SHE'S GOT IT!! SHE'S GOT IT!! SHE'S STILL GOT IT!!!!!!!!

Did she ever lose it?

Supongo que encontró lo que yo no le podía dar. Me alegro. Entre el gusto, calidéz y un toque de envidia, me alegro.

Yo también se lo que se siente.

¡Bendito el orgasmo!

···He stared right into the wall when he first came in. I didn't think he knew what to expect, nor did he, but his reaction was much welcomed. He drifted a bit form room to room as if remembering some forgotten memories he had in every inch the run down apartment. We're selling the place now, the walls are still white but the paint is peeling off.

···We decided not to sell anything but we're not keeping it either, every piece of memorabilia there will stay with the apartment, nothing will come out unless it's going straight to the dumpster, so we can forget whatever happened here, so no one would have to run into something like that in some random garage sale.

···Pictures and such we're burning, that life we had years ago is nothing more now, we're not supposed to relive those moments, those pictures taught to live far too much in the past and look little into the future. We are what we are right now because of those memories and what we are is stuck.

···When he was in the house I told him he could take whatever he wanted since we weren't keeping anything, he looked at me and shrugged in approval. He didn't take much though, I saw him bag a lighter and an ashtray, obviously he was still feeding this new (not so now) habit of his.

···We went outside and went up on the roof climbing the the front gate, we stood up there and he used his new lighter and ashtray to smoke another cigarette. We didn't talk all the time we we were up there, we just sat with our feet in the air while he blew smoke signals up in the air as if we needed help for something we didn't exactly knew.

···He left as soon as we got back to the ground. He only said and he disappeared around the corner along with his trail of smoke.

···The day before we had run into each other at the park again, him in his black winter coat and brown boots, he hardly ever shaved so we was as scruffy as the day I met him. We sat in a bench ignoring each others errands and obligations, for me at least my obligations had been cut to a minimum since being kicked out of school, he on the other hand was as free as he always was. I guess I was just keeping him from his freedom then.

···We talked, about the months that had gone by and how even though so many things have changed it always seems that the things immediately surrounding someone always stay the same. He was still living by himself, still feeding that habit he formed so he could meet that girl who he never talks about anymore; I'm still here with nothing to do really, just wasting my time and what little money I have. I told him I should've left weeks ago, but I didn't.

···The hardest thing to do is to go back." He said. I nodded agreeing with him. as if you put your whole life on the line for something so small that even failing at that seems to grand. Nobody really understands that you're in the fight of your life when you put everything on the line for something so small.

···I couldn't speak much after that. We were quiet for a few minutes until I told him that we were selling the apartment with everything in it and that we weren't' keeping anything. He told me he'd drop by if he could to check the old place out. I never thought he'd actually come.

ROOTLESS TREE

I want from you, is empty your head
But they say that you, don't stay in your bed
We do what we need to be free
And it leans on me, like a rootless tree

What I want from this is to learn to let go
But we fade at first, fracture the times
We go blind when we needed to see
And it leans on me, like a rootless...

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all that you do
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It's nothin' to you
Hate me, hate me, hate me
So you can let me out, let me out, let me out
From havin' you around
Let me out, let me out, let me out

What I want from this
Is to learn to let go
No not from you
From all that is old
Killers re-invent and believe
And it leans on me, like a rootless...

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all that you do
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It's nothin' to you
Hate me, hate me, hate me
So you can let me out, let me out, let me out
From havin' you around

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all that you do
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It's nothin' in you
Hate me, hate me, hate me
So you can let me out, let me out, let me out
Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out

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