Star Mile

Oh doubt in the girl by your side
She's feeding your pride
As you go for a ride down the star mile

Worlds arise as she lets you come in
A duo begins
To the Hollywood din of lonely

Chorus:
And all the gold dust in her eyes won't reform into rain
You had and lost the one thing
You kept in a safe place
Remember the face
Of the girl who made you her own
And how you left her alone

All's well at the base of the hill
You might need to fill
a prescription to kill off the silence.

Look down from your tower on high and take in the night
Look her right in the eye
She'll listen

(Chorus)

Life comes to those that are true
The regular news
Over playing the blues with the light on

And if you burn the road that'll lead you back to her in time
I'll watch you turn to stone
Can't find the sublime

She's moving on without you
The tide breaks
You watch the stars fade
They gather you back to their home
I guess it's better than being alone

-Joshua Radin

-o-

"How much my life has changed in the last 6 years." He thought as he walked himself across the park, it wasn't until he read to himself his past journals that he realized how much has faded while the rest has sharpened. Even the color of his eyes and the shape of his mouth has changed. He sometimes hides his lips in facial scruffy facial hair just so that he can pretend he's smiling.

This new place, these trees and sidewalks, these broken benches and different songs from different birds. He had left so much behind with only a gamble in his hands, a gamble for something he wasn't quite sure what it was.

These past six years, they've been something more than the words he's put into the pages and images he carries underneath his arm; a thousand pens could never truly describe that time, even if he knew enough words to write that much.

His shoes are worn down and stained with the mistakes and tears he's shed and the people he's stepped on, ask him and he'll tell you "I'm not proud of of that." He'll say it with the sincerity of an infant but the guilt of a criminal. He can't help but feel ashamed of what he could not change in himself and the world around him, he thought he was stronger, healthier, better that what he now realized he was...

... his own written words did not lie, he wrote them himself. As much as had lied to himself, his words, his notebooks were there and they told a different story. For at that time he had transformed from something so innocent and strong to something so evil and unrecognizable. Exactly what he had for long despised.

He crossed the the park until it became a busy street, there he saw a trash can, for a moment he thought to himself "I could en this here. I could free myself from this burden a carry in my hand and become someone new." But even then, when he thought of that he was already walking away and back to his own place, where someone was waiting for him, where someone who did not have to know about past was making sure everything was perfect for him, his black coffee with a teaspoon of sugar, his favorite food, empty ashtrays to fill up again.

No one had to know, and he only had to forgive himself to forget.