I've tried to understand how life works then lead us away from what we were meant.

   I never thought I could live this long, yet I always thought this felt too wrong, the words of a man ring inside my skull asking me "Why do you deny human nature?"

I've lived my life against the balance of what my body does against what nature intends. I lived based on how I've loved and not by how I've been broken in half.

   It is fidelity that such a simple torture for myself, the fact of waiting and be left alone.

   I never believed someone would open to me so bold, a word so harsh, and intent to kill the years that passed with a simple act from an inaccurate theater act.

I've seen how my life wants me to be, taking turns at the wheel letting go whenever I forget how to drive. I've lived based on how I've been loved, never by how I've been torn apart.

And until all the breath decides to leave my lungs, I'll write these that tell the stories of then and now.