Maybe I would... if I could.

   Things can always change, at least that's what I always say. Just as people come go; the weather changes from sunny to thunder-storms, people can still go bad.

   I'm in something I can avoid right now, it's that whole "You can run but you cant hide" cliché, although I'm still not sure if I what I do want is to hide. I've been running from something for so long though so I'm allowed to ask myself "what's so wrong this time?"

   I've never been in such a perfect position as to hurt someone, me being so powerful and this person being so vulnerable, such power is hard to describe. Why would I want to hurt this person? Why would the ideas even cross my mnd? What is it that makes me believe I deserve so much that I might be willing to do what swims through my mind?

   It is sick and twisted I know but one can't help but think about it. My road would steer me exactly to the same place just through a different road. I might leave to farther places than I've ever thought and I might never come back. Emphasis on the word "might." I've made the hardest decisions in my life recently , I'm not sure if I can really re-live them. Who would?

   I can be evil, convincing and manipulative. I can be.

   I've been confessed to in ways I never believed could happen to me, more than one name has said there could be something, another said there is something, one more said It's willing to give it to me as it's been done to other people before me and finally another that desires and adventure. What difference would it make if I gave in to it?. I could be evil and let myself be carried away.

   It's been so difficult for the longest time.

   Then there's the most important name, the one I've been living with the longest. That name is the one I could hurt the most. And I'm wondering, why I'm even writting this?

   I'll leave and I'll be fighting this constantly.

   I'm leaving soon.