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¿Cómo se siente ser un fracaso?

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4 February 1980

Your date of conception was on or about 14 May 1979 which was a Monday.

You were born on a Monday
under the astrological sign Aquarius.
Your Life path number is 6.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2444273.5.
The golden number for 1980 is 5.
The epact number for 1980 is 13.
The year 1980 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/28/1979 and ending 2/15/1980.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Goat.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; your plant is Fern.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Parmuthy, the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 17 Shevat 5740.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 18 Shevat 5740.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.6.11.9 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 6 tun 11 uinal 9 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Monday, 17 Rabi'u'l-Avval 1400 (1400-3-17).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 6 April 1980.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 6 April 1980.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 20 February 1980.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 25 May 1980.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 1 June 1980.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 11 September 1980.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 1 April 1980.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 19 February 1980.

As of 10/24/2006 9:25:32 AM EDT
You are 26 years old.
You are 320 months old.
You are 1,394 weeks old.
You are 9,759 days old.
You are 234,225 hours old.
You are 14,053,525 minutes old.
You are 843,211,532 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Brandon 'Bug' Hall (1985) Natalie Imbruglia (1975) Oscar De La Hoya (1973)
Lawrence Taylor (1959) Alice Cooper (1948) Dan Quayle (1947)
David Brenner (1945) Betty Friedan (1921) Ida Lupino (1918)
Rosa Parks (1913) Clyde W. Tombaugh (1906) Charles Lindbergh (1902)

Top songs of 1980
Lady by Kenny Rogers Upside Down by Diana Ross
Call Me by Blondie Starting Over by John Lennon
Another Brick In the Wall by Pink Floyd Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen
Rock with You by Michael Jackson Magic by Olivia Newton-John
Funkytown by Lipps, Inc. Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.81956947162427 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

There are 103 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 27 candles.

Those 27 candles produce 27 BTUs,
or 6,804 calories of heat (that's only 6.8040 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.09 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1980 there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1980 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1980 in the US there were 2,406,708 marriages (10.6%) and 1,182,000 divorces (5.2%)
In 1980 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1980 the population of Australia was approximately 14,807,370.
In 1980 there were approximately 225,527 births in Australia.
In 1980 in Australia there were approximately 109,240 marriages and 39,257 divorces.
In 1980 in Australia there were approximately 108,695 deaths.


Your birthstone is Amethyst

The Mystical properties of Amethyst

Amethyst is used to increase spiritually

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Bloodstone, Onyx, Moonstone


Your birth tree is

Poplar, the Uncertainty

Looks very decorative, no self-confident behaviour, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organiser, tends to philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership serious.


There are 62 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 75 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning gibbous.

"Oh my God! It's ok. You just crushed my mammaries.!"

···If I find myway, how much will I find?

···I thought I could change things, I thought I could make things right, I thought I could fix my situation, I thought I could stop disappointing.

···If I fail once more I'm going to lose myself, I am going to disappoint myself and disappoint you...

... and you...
... and you...
... and you...
... and you...
... and you...
... and you...
... and you...
... and I'm going to lose you...

···After all the search, after all this time, after all the lives I've had to sacrifice to find this perfect niche... I'm going to lose you.

···This life will eventually kill me.

Fuck it!!!

I'm in deep shit.

   I don't know how to start this.

   I wrote it down on my journal a few days ago: "... It's bad to disappoint other people, worse when you disappoint yourself..." Funny how that works the other way around with me. I'm used to disappointing myself, I'm used to bringing myself down because of different reasons, I just cant get used to disappointing another person, specially those that worked so hard to help me and gave me opportunities. I've found that these are the people I hurt the most.

   I'm failing miserably at what I'm doing right now. It seems as like I'm doing all this on purpose but It's not so, I'm trying, I really am but I just can't seem to understand whats going on. It's as if I know all I need to know before the tests and as soon as i put my hand in the first paper bag my mind goes blank, completely blank.

   I haven't been in school in more than four years... I say, ... I cant get used to sitting down on a chair and cram like I used to." It used to be that I didn't have problems like these, I would be able to go through a test, not necessarily ace it, but do above average. I was never the worst average in my class.

   I was never like this. When did I become like this?

by Powderfinger

It's coming round again
slowly creeping hand
of time and its command
soon enough it comes
and settles in its place
its shadow in my face
puts pressure in my day

This life well it's slipping right through my hands
these days turned out nothing like I had planned

It's coming round again
the slowly creeping hand
of time and its command
it settles in its place
its shadow in my face
puts pressure in my day
soon enough it comes
here it is again
slowly creeping hand
time and it's command
soon enough it comes
settles in it's place
puts pressure in my day
undignified and lame

This life well it's slipping right through my hands
These days turned out nothing like I had planned
Control well it's slipping right through my hands
these days turned out nothing like I had planned

Soon enough it comes
soon enough it comes
too tie us down

It's coming round again
Slow...slowly creeping hand

This life well it's slipping right through my hand
These days turned out nothing like I had planned
Control well it's slipping right through my hand
These days turned out nothing like I had planned

   Look at me.

... this is me wasting away the best opportunity of my life.
... this is me disappointing myself.
... this is me showing the world I cant do crap.
... this is me showing the world I cannot side bones.
... this is me throwing my life away.
... this is me, not coming home if I fail.
... this is me disappointing everyone hat believed in me.
... this is me trying to act calmly about it.
... this is me about to break down.
... this is me not realizing what my priorities are.
... this is me not being all that I can be.
... this is me not BELIEVING I can be anything at all.
... this is me giving this program they're wost student.
... this is me not knowing what I'm going to do with my life.
... this is me not prioritizing.
... this is me not feeling up to par.
... this is me feeling intimidated.
... this is me tired of excuses.
... this is me so tired and only 26 years old.
... this is me writing this when I should be looking at fragments.
... this is me realizing I'm no good at what I do.
... this is me feeling heavier than anyone else.
... this is me exactly how I thought I would end up being.

... the failure that I am.

   If the worst happens, I'm sorry, but I'm not coming back. I'm not showing my face back there again.

- "SOCK IT TO ME!!! She quoted with a hint of excitement.
- "I wish." I replied half-jokingly but mostly wishing she were serious.

Room of Angel
Akira Yamaoka

You lie silent there before me
your tears they mean nothing to me
the wind howling at the window
the love you never gave
I give to you

Really don't deserve it
but now there's nothing you can do
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
goodbye
goodbye

So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me
are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds
perhaps you're happy without me
so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry
where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye

   She told me: "How could you to this to me?

   It's happened again, I keep making the same mistake over and over again, why? I don't know, maybe I don't want to know the answer to that, maybe I'm scared to find out that I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. They say some people aren't made to fit with other people, they're meant to be alone and not bother others, maybe I'm one of those, maybe I'm supposed to watch the rest of the world find whatever and whoever completes them.

   I've taken that chorus very seriously, trying to understand why it fits so much with how I see the world. How life disappointed me is my own personal war, my own little strife, my own mission to accomplish. I'm almost done with it just the same as I've almost been done with it so many times before.

   It's just so tiring, too expecting of me. People constantly expect something from me when all I do is try NOT to give them hope for anything, yet people still believe the lies, people still buy the words and stupidities that come from my head, the writings from my hands and the ink that stains my fingertips. All these lies, all this fake, make-believe life I've made up for myself.

   It's bad when you disappoint other people, it's worse when you disappoint yourself and being as low as I am right now, it took quite an effort to disappoint me once again. But maybe that's what I'm here for, to make people believe in me and promptly destroy they're hopes of me, maybe I'm that person that teaches the world that you can't trust anybody else. Maybe I'm that kind of asshole. Maybe I'm like those people I hate, maybe that explains why I hate myself so much sometimes.

   It's amazing how my best effort amounts only to mediocrity, It's amazing how I've made so far without forgetting how to breath. So I'm poisoning myself slowly so people cant say a word when I die, suicide is too predictable, everyone expects that from me because I've mentioned it before, I've had the blade to my wrist, I've the pills in my mouth.

   So I constantly disappoint, I constantly make people have the wrong idea of me then slowly show them who I really am, just a leech, just someone taking up space and not just breathing someone else can take but poisoning the rest for other around me. I'm a walking, living, breathing, coughing, contaminating, trampelling, destroying "Pigpen."

   The poison I have for breakfast is the same I have for lunch, dinner and in between. I'm far from quitting, if I'm ever quitting at all.

   It's easier to poison myself slowly.

Sittin on the beach, the island king of love deep in fijian seas, deep in some blissful dream. Where the goddess finally sleeps
In the lap of her lover subdued in all her rage and I'm aglow with the taste of the demons driven out and happily replaced with the presence of real love the only one who saves.

I wanna dance with you.
I see a world where people live and die with grace.
The karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace.
I wanna dance with you.
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds,
and lead us back to a world we would not face.

The stillness in your eyes convinces me that I don't know a thing and I been around the world and I've tasted all the wines a half a billion times came sickened to your shores. You show me what this life is for.

I wanna dance with you.
I see a world where people live and die with grace.
The karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace.
I wanna dance with you.
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds,
and lead us back to a world we would not face.

In this altered state.
Full of so much pain and rage,
you know we got to find a way to let it go.

Sitting on the beach, the island king of love deep in Fijian seas, deep in the heart of it all where the goddess finally sleeps after eons of war and lifetimes, she's smiling and free. Nothing left but a cracking voice and a song, oh lord.

I wanna dance with you.
I see a world where people live and die with grace.
The karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace.
I wanna dance with you.
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds,
and lead us back to a world we would not face.

I would not face.
I would not face.
I would not face.
I would not face.
I would not face.