I've tried to look back at what made me perceive what was never there. Reading through my own words, going back in time I find my paranoia had taken so much control.
Pages full of thoughts; lines filled with pent up anger and mistaken assumptions.
Days were long and nights were spent awake blaming you for my nightmares, I never looked into blaming myself.
But you were so easy to blame, you were never there to fight back nor was I ever there to kill you with words. I never had the courage to curse and lie to you; I hardly have any at all.
I had fewer troubles without you but nothing to live for; I'm giving away what little sanity I have for a small piece of darkness. I would rather have the troubles you bring into life than not living at all.
July '05
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