I've got this buzz going right here just by myself, listening to this song that just reminds me so much.

"... I've been wrong but It's alright.
there have been long and lonely nights.
I was lost 'till I found you..."

I cant get it down quite right on the guitar yet.

It wont change my life but, God, how it makes me think will scare me sometimes.

I'm, by far, a lonesome person. I like being alone; I enjoy my solitude. It becomes a problem when that solitude creates loneliness out of nothing. I hate being lonely and not knowing why.

Nick Drake soothes my uneasiness.

Yet still I feel I'm missing out on so much still. Even though I've been, in a way, free I still feel perfectly enclosed inside myself, as if I'm more comfortable in here than out there. It's probably true but "out there" is where I need to be.

Beer bottle dried out, need another one. There's three corpses made of glass lying neatly in my trash bin, one for each hour I've had nothing to do.

I don't know, I need another hit maybe; I need to feel something I've never felt before; I need to have sex without feeling; I need to put the emotions aside and, for once, act as If I was an animal.

... to scream instead of talk.
... to run instead of walk.
... to fly instead of crash.
... to laugh out loud instead of just smiling.
... to feel like I'm closer to life than to death.
... to hunt instead of buy.
... to fuck instead of make love.
... to enjoy instead of complain.

I feel as if I need to fulfill my most basic needs and wants in order to gain access to all those things that enrich my life.

Hit me. I'm in the mood fuck the whole world today. It's my goddamn obligation. It's my freaking right.

I need... so much.